


Lux

by ifwegettherebysunset



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: Changelings, Fae & Fairies, Fantasy, M/M, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-08-21 08:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16573376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifwegettherebysunset/pseuds/ifwegettherebysunset
Summary: Judai's always been drawn to the Old City―a place Domino's older generations call cursed, devoured by magic centuries ago.But when he peeks through the wall, something looks back.





	1. Crack in the Wall

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe i haven't posted spiritshipping fic yet  
> still has synchroship though cause this started as a synchroship fic but then changed into...This  
> *Tags and character lists are subject to change
> 
> Song's link is in the composer's name + his inspiration

_Lux,  
_ _Calida gravisque pura velut aurum_

_(Light,  
Warm and heavy pure as gold)_

[Eric Whitacre, inspired by a poem by Edward Esch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0j2JRcC6wBs)

* * *

Judai is nineteen when he peers through one of the cracks in the Old City's wall.

His parents are (always) away. Centuries of quiet have stopped posting guards. Judai's almost surprised no one's gone in and built a museum, despite every older generation demanding otherwise. It seems like the older you get, the more fearful you are of the Old City.

Unless you're a kid who's scared of monsters, like Judai was. Before his parents won their promotions, they told him stories every night. How magic is a sublime corruption. How it corrupted people so sweetly that no one wanted to let it go. Happy husks were they. Husks that remained steeped in magic, waiting to leech whoever stepped into their grounds.

Some people say it's become a fae's demesne, others a graveyard. Judai's not sure what he believes.

But it's been centuries since the walls were sealed with the last of the gentle magic, the casters killed just to be safe. The devouring power has to have faded. Still, Judai never sees anyone else in the years he's visited.

The Old City remains silent.

Judai is nineteen and arrogant (and so, so alone). Before him is what used to be a beautiful gate leading to a shining capital, wood rotted and iron rusted, weeping in a crumbled stone frame. There are many cracks, but the red knots of old magic are still warm.

Judai is nineteen and conditioned to implicitly trust the knotted seals. He looks around the way many do when they're about to do something they're not supposed to.

No one.

Judai takes a knee in front of the biggest crack he can reach. He peers through, cupping his hands around his eyes, excitement trembling.

The houses and shops that still stand lean heavily on each other, made of wrinkled stone. What magic did not consume, nature does. The flowers on the thick vines are lovely. Judai wonders if he could find a way in to pick one.

(In the back of his mind is an idle thought: the flowers don't look normal.)

There's nothing else.

Judai frowns. Somehow he'd thought the seals blocked sound too. Hoped to see one of those husks, or a spark of magic.  _Anything_ to prove the stern mantras of his childhood.

 _Do not go into the Old City_.

_Your ancestors did not die for you to throw your life away._

He loves his parents, tells himself he  _truly_ loves them, but it is as distant as they are. And now he sees the fears of generations are unfounded. Whatever happened here has passed.

With a disappointed sigh, Judai stands, brushing himself off. What delusions of grandeur he'd built over the years crumble with the buildings inside. Whatever pull that draws him here is just his imagination. Another story.

But.

Judai looks at the seal.

If there's nothing there, there's nothing to stop him taking a better look. Might as well, right?

Besides, someone had to've done this before him.

Judai looks over his shoulder. Beyond his bike, down the hill and into the vale, Domino gleams. (Some call it Neo Domino, but most prefer to erase the lives lost.) Anxiety twitches his fingers against his thigh. It's broad daylight. From this distance, no one will see him, but he wants to be  _sure_.

If his parents find out he's been in the Old City...

Judai nods to himself. He'll come back tonight.

One last peek, though.

The flowers sway just as they had a minute ago. (Are they glowing, or is it just the light?) The vines (thicker?) hang loosely from ruined roofs. Dirt paths blow dust (and ash).

Not even a scrape of bone or warning signs.

Judai goes to his bike.

(He blames the burning between his shoulders on the sun.)

* * *

It's a full moon. Perfect background, Judai thinks gleefully.

No one glances at him as he leaves Domino's boundaries or heaves up the hill.

Judai scrambles from his bike, turning up his collar against the autumn chill. He turns on his flashlight.

The knotted seal looks sharper, somehow. Bigger.

Judai looks away when he starts seeing eyes and teeth.

He takes the ax from his bag. He tried to think of something else, but there's no way he can climb the walls, and he's pretty sure he's not strong enough to pull the door open. Most of it's rotted through, anyway. Shouldn't be too hard.

Maybe. Judai's never exactly used an ax before.

First time for everything.

Judai heaves.

He reels back when the humming starts.

It's a gentle, bouncy tenor that shouldn't be audible over the wind. Pretty.  _Within_ the Old City.

Judai's on his ass before he can think anything else.

The humming stops.

When Judai looks up, two jewels stare at him through the crack he'd looked in just hours ago. It takes him a second to realize they're  _eyes_.

Judai glances at his ax.

Says, "Uh. It's not what it looks like?"

The eyes blink owlishly. Then they crinkle on a laugh.

"You could just ask," a sweet voice replies.

"I. Didn't realize there was anyone  _to_ ask."

"Well, no one bothers to look." The eyes move, as if the stranger is tilting their head. "Until you."

"I-I was―it was just the once."

"No. You're  _always_ here."

Judai pushes off his hands to grab his crossed ankles. "Not  _always_."

The eyes close and swerve side to side. "A part of you is here even when you leave."

Judai's brow furrows. "I don't see how that's true."

"...people from Domino don't see many things. Tell you what," the stranger says, suddenly cheerful, "You tell me why you come here, and I'll give you a tour."

"How are you even in there, though? Do you  _live_ here?"

"I pick flowers. The ones here are beautiful."

They are. Judai thinks of them wistfully. How they glitter like the stranger's eyes, organic gems. He'd really like to see them again.

He shrugs. "I'm not supposed to be here. That's all."

"No," the stranger replies.

"What?"

"That's not the whole truth."

"Wh―that's the way  _I_ see it!"

"And I told you that people from Domino don't see many things. Fear is easy to see. What about what you  _can't_?"

Judai swallows, staring at his hands. The stranger doesn't move. Around them, everything is muted, even the wind. As if something is keeping their words between them.

It's oddly encouraging. Safe.

It shouldn't be.

It is.

"It's my imagination," he says reluctantly.

"You'd be surprised how real that can be," the stranger murmurs.

Judai chances to meet their eyes again. They're solemn but curious. Open, friendly. With a jolt, Judai realizes he's forgotten what  _friendly_ looked like.

"I feel drawn here," spills from his lips.

The stranger's definitely interested now. "Really? How?"

"I―don't know. I thought it was the stories affecting me, y'know? All that stuff about magic and corruption. I've never looked inside until today. And when I saw nothing..." Judai shrugs again.

The stranger hums. "You were disappointed."

"Well, yeah. I don't know what I wanted to see―"

"Yes you do."

Judai balks a little. "How do  _you_ know?"

"Because I've heard the stories too. The  _happy husks_."

Judai smiles sheepishly. "Okay, maybe I wanted to see something cool."

The eyes crinkle again. "I'm here now, though."

Judai eagerly sits up. "And I've answered your question."

"You did. Hang on."

They disappear. Judai jumps to his feet.

Behind the door, the stranger asks, "Are you absolutely sure you want to open the door?"

"Yes!" Judai replies.

(The seal shudders in agony.)

The door opens.

Judai's breath leaves him in a rush.

The stranger's smile is as pretty as his voice. He looks like he's from another time, dressed in a cobalt cloak and a flowing ruffled shirt, black trousers and white boots hugging his legs. Boots that have what look like topaz spheres on the ankles.

"Hi," Judai says faintly.

"Hi," the stranger replies. He holds out his hand. "Come in."

Judai takes it. It's warm as a spring sun.

The stranger tugs him into the Old City. "Wanna see the flowers?"

"Uh. Yeah."

The flowers are even more uncanny up close. The stranger's gathered seven. He seems to have been in the middle of tying them with string.

"I'm going to plant a tree," he tells Judai, finishing the knot, "They're finally ready to grow."

Judai's fingers hover over the glistening petals. "The...flowers?"

"Yes. It's been a very long time since they've bloomed." The stranger grins. "I'm so excited!"

"Are they―is this magic?"

The stranger looks confused. "Of course it is."

"But―"

"Not allmagic is evil. You have to know  _that_ , at least."

Judai touches one of the flowers, an amethyst purple blossom. "I know there  _was_ good magic. But the stories say it died with the Old City."

The stranger gapes. "You can't believe that!"

"Honestly, I never really knew what I believed about magic. But now," smiling at the flowers, "it definitely can't be all bad."

The stranger's smile grows back. "Definitely not." He grips Judai's shoulder, spreading happy tingles in Judai's chest. "What do I call you?"

"Oh! Uh, Judai. What about you?"

"Judai," the stranger says softly. Judai can't help watching his lips. "You're the most open-minded person I've ever met."

Judai ducks his head a little. "Ah, I don't know about that."

"You are. Call me Johan."

Judai brightens. "Johan."

"Judai. Will you help me find a spot for my tree?"

"You're really going to grow it here?"

"It's the best place. Trust me."

He does.

* * *

Judai wakes outside the door.

The Old City is quiet again.


	2. Starlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what i like? crab

_Huge moons there wax and wane—_  
_Again—again—again_  
_Every moment of the night—_  
_Forever changing places—_  
_And they put out the star-light_  
_With the breath from their pale faces._

[Edgar Allan Poe, "Fairy-Land"](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48627/fairy-land)

* * *

The next day, Judai high tails it out of school to peek through the wall again. There are still flowers, but Johan isn't there, just as he wasn't there when Judai woke up.

He's starting to think it was a dream, that maybe some leftover magic did something to him. He pinches himself a few times to make sure he's awake now. He definitely is.

No Johan, though. For a scary moment, Judai finds himself wondering if it's better to dream.

He comes home to a message on the answering machine. His parents' trip is extended.

Judai feels weightless after his mother says goodbye. Not an elated kind of floating. More like a balloon that's slipped from a child's hand―untethered. He doesn't know why; this is hardly the first time it's happened.

He orders take out for dinner on his parents' card. Considers, with a sudden pang, if he should get himself a new bike on their dime too. He immediately shakes that thought away.

It's just their work. They'd be here if they could.

Judai eats and plays video games until the moon rises. Then, he finds himself glancing outside, picturing a hill and a wounded gate.

Maybe if the tree's mound is there...at least he'd know whether or not Johan's real.

Judai switches the TV off and scrambles for his jacket.

He opens the door to a man falling on him.

* * *

Johan half-believes Judai was a dream.

The other, rational half, obviously knows otherwise, but it's been centuries since the Old City called to mortal blood. Johan felt Judai's ancestry in the gate's seal, but extinguished magic in a line is practically the same as mortal. That had been one thing humans got right: magic twists creatures, and not always for the better. Nothing and no one stays the same.

And there Judai had been, prepared to force his way in. He might not have realized how manic his eyes were.

Johan relates that mania to the King, in his throne room on the cusp of sun and shade. The King, though intrigued, quickly resolves to leave the situation to Johan. If the Old City wants Judai, it may have him, and he will be welcomed.

"If the Old City is calling to a mortal again," Johan had ventured, "perhaps it will call to others?"

The King stiffens. His gaze strays to the right.

"Perhaps," he says quietly.

* * *

The man's hands sparkle.

Seeing that, Judai resolves not to take him to a hospital.

After the initial shock, he's moved the stranger to the couch. He doesn't look that much older than Judai, and his clothes could pass for a regular citizen. But for the sparkling.

With a fluttering in his gut, Judai wonders if he's like Johan. There's definitely magic in him―either that or the guy just went to a really weird club, but that's not likely, because the sparkles can't be wiped off. They seem to be part of the man's skin, little bumps like soft gravel. Judai can't stop touching. It's so delightfully  _weird_.

Physically, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the stranger. Judai hasn't done any close examining, but he doesn't see any bruises or broken bones. Pulse seems steady. There are heavy dark circles under his eyes, so maybe he's just exhausted?

"Well," Judai says, "Guess I should see if there's any leftovers!"

There's only one carton left. Judai apologizes as he sticks it in the microwave. The stranger sleeps on.

"Wonder where you're from," Judai says, tapping his foot while he waits, "I mean, I'd like to think you're from  _there_ , but I've only ever seen―well, I  _thought_ I saw." He throws a strained smile at the couch. "Never mind."

The smell of food doesn't wake his visitor. He tries shaking him. Thinks about calling an ambulance anyway.

In the end, he sets the foot on the coffee table and sits beside it. After a bit of nagging quiet, he cups the stranger's hand again and chirps, "This is so cool, by the way! Reminds me of star―"

With one heave, the stranger's sitting up. Judai flails with a startled cry.

"Star," the stranger mutters, looking wildly around. When he sees Judai, he grabs his shoulders. "I have to get to the star! Where―where is―"

"Uh, in the sky?" Judai squeaks.

"No―no, not―" the stranger recoils, covering his face. "Not the  _stars_ ―there's―it's―"

Judai shakes himself. "Hey, hey. Let's just take a breather, okay? My name's Judai. You're in my house."

"Judai," the man says slowly.

Judai smiles encouragingly. "Yeah! I got you some food. And water! I'll get you some water. Just―stay here."

"No. I have to get home."

There's another _pang_ in Judai's chest, filling his ears with the silence of an empty house. "Oh! Where's that? I can help you get there."

"You're―" the stranger takes a deep, centering breath. "You're very kind, Judai, but."

Judai turns, full glass in hand, to the man scrutinizing him. He has unusual blue eyes. The more they look at him, the wider they get.

"You've been there."

Judai starts. "Been where?"

The man pushes to his feet, wavering a moment before approaching. "You can help me after all. Please. I will be in your debt."

This is said solemnly, like a vow.

"Uh," Judai says.

The man looks to the window. "My home is bigger than it seems. You've probably only been to a gateway." His head whips back at Judai's smothered noise. "You remember?"

Judai's eyes flick to the man's hands. They're no longer sparkling. He thinks of Johan and the dreamy night.

"I'm uh...I mean, I don't think it's what you're looking for."

The man steps forward. "Where I come from, people can sense who's visited. I think that's how I found this place." He swallows, fists clenching. "No one's been able to get in for a long time. And I haven't..." he sighs.

The gate's seals flash in Judai's mind. "Haven't what?"

The man suddenly looks so sad. He repeats, "I haven't been home in a long time."

It doesn't sound like the whole truth. But if he's talking about what Judai hopes he's talking about, then.

He'd been planning on going anyway, right?

Judai holds out his hand. "I'll take you to a gate, but I'm not sure if it's the right one."

The man takes it firmly. " _Thank you_."

Judai blinks under the weight of the words. "Ah. What do I call you?"

A small smile lights the man's face. "Yusei. Call me Yusei."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what i think you guys hate? the time between my updates  
> you know what i also hate? the time between my updates


	3. Portals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gates are open.

  _I_ _f you see a fairy ring_

_In a field of grass,_

_Very lightly step around,_

_Tiptoe as you pass;_

_Last night fairies frolicked there,_

_And they're sleeping somewhere near._

[William Shakespeare](http://faeriefae.50megs.com/if_you_see_a_fairy_ring.htm)

* * *

 Yusei's still a bit unsteady on his feet, so Judai suggests they walk instead of trying a bike. It'll take longer, but it's not _too_ far.

"No," Yusei replies, "I can get us there. I just need..." his brow furrows. "I'm not sure how to explain it."

"Hey, it's okay," Judai says, patting his back.

Yusei catches his arm. "Hold on."

He closes his eyes and breathes in. Their point of contact glows. One by one, tiny lights reappear on Yusei's skin, slowly at first, then spreading like fresh night.

There are stars in his eyes too.

"You took something with you," he says quietly, "I can use it."

Judai swallows. "You're. You really are one of them, then?"

Yusei looks at the nearest shadow, cast by the side of the house. "Not for a long time."

"Wha'd'you―"

The shadow ripples when Yusei touches it. The little stars escape and coalesce, reshaping shade into moonlight. Judai, struck dumb, can only follow Yusei's tug.

They're outside Judai's house, then in a cold-warm-cold-warm space of stars. There's no floor, but they're walking, no ceiling, but something's closing in, and absence―where's the moon?

Something like a scream haunts Judai as they step out. He coughs tears and breath.

He's so distracted he barely catches Yusei for the second time that night. He has to fall with him, bracing him against his shoulder.

The stars are gone, and Yusei's pale as death.

"Help...help me up," he rasps.

Judai looks around, eyes widening as he takes in the gate behind them. "You―" no, not important, he's  _fae_ , he can use magic. What's important is: "Why are you so weak?"

Yusei tries sitting up. His whole body quakes. Judai supports him.

"You can't even stand up. I'll―if I have to drag you, I will! I'll get you in!"

If Johan's there again―please let Johan be there. He can help.

Yusei's passed out before Judai can stand. Judai grabs him under the armpits and heaves. It's not far from the gate, but with the weight, it feels like a mile away. Judai's not exactly a lifter.

It takes ten minutes to get halfway. Desperate frustration starts yanking too. Judai needs  _help_.

"J..." Judai pauses to catch his breath.

"Johan!"

With every pull, he starts shouting the name. He doesn't know if there'll be an answer―maybe there never―but there  _has_ to be. Suddenly, Judai's never been more sure of anything else. Johan  _is_ there, and he trusts him like he hasn't trusted anyone since his parents left him for the first time.

"Judai?"

Judai whirls, and there, gems in the dark.

He beams. "Johan! I need help! He's―his name is Yusei―"

" _Yusei_?" Johan cries.

The gate swings open without a creak.

"I-I can't go past the walls," Johan says, eyes fixed on a still-unconscious Yusei.

But Judai's filled with new strength at the sight of his friend. "I just needed the gate open! I'll be―just a second!"

What seemed like hours dissolves into nothing, and Johan's at his side. The moment Yusei's fully across, the gates slam shut.

They lower Yusei onto the ground. Judai's sure there weren't flowers around them a second ago.

"How?" Johan whispers, "How did you find him?"

Judai sits with a relieved grunt. "He kinda showed up at my door and fell on me."

Johan gapes at him. "He  _what_?"

"I know! And when he mentioned his home, that I'd been there, I said I'd take him. Is he gonna be okay?"

A beat.

Then Johan's laughing in disbelief. "Oh, Judai. You have no idea what you've done."

Judai jolts. "Did―did I do something wrong?"

Johan throws his arms around him. He smells like flowers. "You did  _wonderfully_."

"...who is he?"

Johan pulls back and grips his shoulders. "He's the King's consort, Judai. He's been missing for centuries."

* * *

" _WHAT_?"

Yusei wakes with a start to Judai flailing and Johan― _Johan_ ―laughing.

He wonders if Johan can see the shadows wreathing Judai's shoulders. He wants to ask, but his chest is too heavy. So long in a land without magic, and suddenly it's  _everywhere_. The best he can do is keep breathing.

Star...his Star is somewhere. If he could only  _reach_ ―

"Yusei!"

Even smiling feels like an effort.

Johan grips his arm and hisses.

"What's wrong?" Judai demands, "Is he okay?"

Johan bites his lip. "Changeling."

"What? But I thought you said―"

"He  _is_ , but he was stolen." After a moment's wavering, he turns to Judai. "What do you know of that gate?"

"Uh? Well, humans locked up magic."

"And how do you think they were granted permission to do that?"

"Permission? I thought they'd won the war."

Johan barks a laugh. "Humans defeating fae? Judai,  _think_."

Slowly, Judai looks at Yusei. Horror dawns on his face.

"Did they use  _him_?"

Yusei wishes Johan didn't look so sad. "Yes. Their little magicians were able to conjure one last trick. They ripped him away and promised to give him back only if all gates to our land were sealed."

Judai's fists clench on his thighs. "They never gave him back."

"No. But what was done could not be undone...who knows where he's been. Since the gates have been closed, no magic can seep through like it used to. Mortality's been eating at him. Right now, he's no different than the children taken at birth."

Oh yes it has. He hadn't felt it at first, but it's become unbearably apparent for so long that Yusei doesn't know what he'd be without it. The magic trying to seep in it starting to  _hurt._

Johan's face sets. "We have to get him to the King."

And Yusei wants that,  _so much_ , but―"S-Star."

Johan's grip spasms. "Yusei!"

" _Star_."

"He keeps saying that," Judai says.

Johan leans in. "Yusei. He's the only one who knows where your Star is."

"What does that mean?" Judai asks.

"Later, Judai! Help me!"

"Where are we―"

" _Later_! Amethyst!"

"Wh―the tree―"

Amethyst Cat. Made of pure magic, like Johan. Yusei's eyes hurt looking at her.

"Carve us a door! Please!"

"Of course!" she replies, ignoring Judai's spluttering.

"Topaz! We need help carrying him!"

Topaz Tiger. It's all Yusei can do to hold onto his fur. It  _burns_.

Traveling through shade had been, while immensely draining, at least fundamentally part of Yusei, enough that he could do it without tearing himself apart.

This is not his magic. The door they're going through is not his.

Yusei screams. 


	4. Demesne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Changeling, a Star, a King, and a Garden.
> 
> Or, through the power of True Love, Judai faces the pit of the fae.

_“All her senses felt sharper, like she'd been living the past nine months on a flat page and someone had suddenly folded her into shape.”_

Christina Soontornvat, _In A Dark Land_

* * *

Judai doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know why Yusei's seizing, why there's a talking cat, or a tiger, or  _anything_. Yes, he knows Johan's fae, but―

At Johan's urging, though, Judai keeps his mouth shut. He's terrified of stepping into the portal, if only because of Yusei's screaming. But he doesn't feel anything between one step and the next.

Johan's in-between is full of swirling color. Everything is warm and sweet, and it feels like what Judai's been crying out for when his parents' messages end. Unlike Yusei's unsettling void, he wants to stay there.

He's already out, and another voice is yelling Yusei's name. He has to quickly wipe his eyes to see them.

A blinding whorl blends into a strangely dressed man. His hair, even wilder than Yusei's, is multi-colored and spiked like a starfish. A golden circlet shines with his aura and wristbands. A cape that keeps shifting between regular purple and creeping shadows flies behind him as he rushes from a golden throne and its empty cobalt partner.

Yusei's screams reach a new pitch when he's put into the King's arms. His nose is gushing dark blood.

With a quick gesture, the King makes the ceiling disappear.  _Literally disappear_.

Judai's not sure when he started clutching Johan's hand, but Johan's squeezing back.

"The stars," Johan whispers.

The sky here shifts colors, from navy to charoite to pitch and everything in between. The stars move too―rivers and mountains and galactic spirals pull towards each other like magnets. Here, you can see them like a 3D picture, going up and down and side to side.

They all collide into a familiar, haunting screech. Judai remembers the absence again and rubs his chest from the phantom pain.

Yusei pitches over the King's arms and coughs up blood.

For a split second, the stars form a beastly shape―then Johan yanks him under his chin, shielding his eyes.

Yusei's screaming fades into more wet coughs.

The King snarls, "Let him  _go_."

The command has enough force to make Judai stumble.

"Judai?" Johan murmurs.

Cautiously, Judai turns his head, straightening when Johan lets him. "I'm okay―just, uh. He's powerful."

Johan smiles fondly. "Yes. He's our King."

The King cards through Yusei's hair. Yusei takes his hand and holds it tight. His breathing is slowing.

"Sorry about that," Johan says, "Mortals can't see Stardust without their eyes melting."

Judai laughs. Johan doesn't.

"Uh. Has that. Happened?"

Johan shrugs. "Xe's one of the largest strands of raw magic there is."

Judai watches Yusei's skin begin to shine, the King touching their foreheads. "And that's part of Yusei?"

"Xe  _is_ Yusei. Think of it like...hm. A puzzle."

Judai looks back at Johan. His gem eyes have taken a more vivid sheen. "A missing piece."

"Exactly. Oh―"

Johan claps over Judai's ears as Yusei's lips say something.

"Sorry again. The King's name―"

Yusei's pulled into a kiss, and the world  _wrenches_ to the side.

"Whoa, whoa! Judai?"

"I'm-I'm okay. Yeesh, it's bright."

"Bright? I―I guess True Love can have that effect."

"True  _what_?"

"Hang on. I know a place."

* * *

"Your Majesty?"

Atem's gaze is no longer dull gray. Johan can't help smiling with him.

"Sorry, but. This is Judai."

Judai waves with the hand not covering his eyes.

"Permission to be dismissed? It's too bright for him."

Atem would probably say yes to just about anything right now. "The rose garden has opened. Take him there."

No doubt many locked places have opened again.

"Johan. The other one."

"The―other one?"

Atem doesn't look away from Yusei's half-lidded eyes. "Yes. Call it a feeling."

"Your Majesty―"

"Johan." The King's eyes pool red. "Go."

"...as you wish."

As Johan leads Judai out, Judai calls, "Thank you!"

Beyond the throne room, the palace's corridor has shortened to a small square. It has retained only one door.

"Johan? You okay?"

The  _other_ rose garden. Not the one tended by the Rose Witch, to whom Yusei brought his starlight. Johan stares at its door. Writhing thorns of sickening yellows and virulent violet stare back at him as much as the single eye in the center.

He's only been inside once. Any who enter must be locked away for three days and three nights.

 _Call it a feeling_. What kind of feeling would push Judai  _here_?

"Johan? Johan!"

"Sorry, just. It's a―strange garden," Johan tries.

Judai laughs. "Pretty sure I've seen a ton of strange stuff already."

Not like this.

The eye narrows. The caretaker despises loiterers. If Johan won't open the door, they will, and all the worse for him and Judai.

Judai. Lovely, kind-hearted Judai. He was called to the Old City for a reason, surely. But it couldn't be this.

"Hey." Judai nudges closer. "I trust you."

That's not what Johan's worried about. Though it's nice to hear.

"Just...keep your eyes covered. And don't let go. Okay?"

Judai frowns. "Is this place gonna kill me or something?"

"No."

"...okay."

Johan turns the knob. Splinters stab his palm without going through―it's not him the garden's curious about.

 _Shit_.

The King's not to be disobeyed.

* * *

Judai breathes in and hums. "Smells nice!"

Johan looks at him in disbelief. To him, and everyone of the Court, this is exposed, rotting flesh.

"You like it?" he asks dubiously.

"Yeah!" Judai chirps, swiveling his head about, "I can smell the roses."

These roses look like they're cast under blacklight. The yellow and violet of the door infests their thorns as well, covering the gnarled trees and rocky paths. No stars, no moon, no sun. There are rumors that not even the King knows when this garden formed, or when the caretaker took root with it, but it is the darkest pit of the realms.

And its thorns are weaving towards Judai's feet.

Johan pulls him out of the way just in time.

"Whoa! What's― _oh_."

 _Fuck_. Judai'd tried to catch himself. His eyes are uncovered. With the terrible light from the roses, Johan can see horror forming.

Johan shakes his head. "I don't know why the King ordered you be brought here. You―you're not meant for magic like this."

"What do you mean?"

"...you don't know?"

"I mean, I know I'm where you're from."

" _This_ is  _not_ where I'm from," Johan snaps. "Nothing is born or made here."

He glares defiantly as the thorns hiss in reply.

Judai holds up his free hand. The other's starting to sweat in Johan's fingers. "I meant, y'know, generally. But I'm not made for magic or anything."

"Judai. The Old City  _called_ to you."

"For Yusei, right? Not that it's not amazing to know you, but." Judai smiles sadly. "He just needed something to follow. I kept going back."

"How could you think―"

The trees groan. The twisted brush shakes.

Something heavy vibrates the ground. Rhythmic.  _Footsteps_.

Now attached to Johan's side, Judai mumbles, "What is that?"

Johan swallows. "I don't know."

"Maybe we should go?"

The door is gone. Johan doubts they could find where it's moved before the caretaker reaches them.

Judai helped bring Yusei back. Why would Atem sentence him to the garden? What  _feeling_ compelled him to put a kind mortal into a hornet's nest?

"Johan," Judai stammers.

"It must be some sort of trial," Johan says, "A test to see if the Old City―"

 _"The Old City did not call._ I  _did."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this WAS gonna be the last chapter but. Honestly, I wanted a cliffhanger imma be real with you


	5. Oculi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A legend is told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all know who's about to step in yaaaaaas
> 
> Also this is so self indulgent like whoa

_"We're all mad here."_

Cheshire Cat

* * *

Stardust whispers it through Yusei: " _The Garden_."

Dread and confusion war with the elation of having Yusei back in his arms. But Stardust's declarations are not intended to lead astray, and it's the first time xe's spoken since the humans broke their vow. Despite his fellows' crime, this human has returned xir get to xem. Xe has no reason to harm him.

So Atem kisses Yusei's sweat-soaked forehead and orders Johan away. Johan's pale with dread. Judai follows him regardless, squeezing his hand the way Yusei did on his and Atem's first walk through the palace grounds.

Yusei.

Atem wipes the blood dribbling on the corners of his consort's mouth. Yusei shudders erratically as Stardust expunges the last of mortality's poison that had rooted deeply enough to resist Atem's kiss. It's only a matter of time before he stands tall.

He hopes Johan and Judai are there to see Yusei once again crowned in silver moondrops. Judai seems like a sweet soul.

* * *

A floating eye is all Judai can see of whatever's talking. The voice dips high and low, female and male and neither.

Johan holds him close. But.

He's not afraid?

The thorns, the roses, the  _garden_ , yes. That's a deadly disease in a syringe about to puncture.

_"You had to be lonely enough. Hopeless enough to hear me."_

Whatever  _this_ is just kinda...makes him sad.

_"I suppose that King is not as blind as I thought."_

"You don't get to speak of him!" Johan shouts.

The eye does not blink. It does not move.

Johan is torn away.

Judai calls after him, grabbing at air. All sound is swallowed.

A taloned paw cups his face, nearly slicing his skin.

"Don't hurt him," Judai says.

The eye tilts, horizontal lids narrowing.

_"Do you love him?"_

"Huh? Uh, that's-that's a little. I mean, he's a friend!"

 _"No,"_ the being growls,  _"I can sense it. The seeds of love are in you."_

"I don't know about―"

 _"I_ know  _you, Yuki Judai. I know how you look when you're in love."_

Judai's eyes widen. "How―how do you know my name?"

The eye leans in. Two new eyes underneath join it: one sickly green, the other violent orange.

_"I am Yubel. I know every part of you."_

...gold seeps into Judai's eyes.

"Yubel?"

* * *

"Stardust."

The dragon has taken over most of Yusei in an attempt to shield him from the pain. Pupiless yellow eyes look at Atem from Yusei's prone form on the silk sheets of the Kings' bed.

"Why the Garden?" Atem asks.

Stardust moves Yusei's head to stare at the ceiling's fresco. Xe doesn't reply for some time, but Atem has learned to be patient with xem. Xe sees so many constellations and possibilities and has been without Yusei's tempering influence for too long.

After nearly ten minutes, Stardust rubs Yusei's chest and rasps,  _"My heart was not all they took."_

* * *

Judai's thrust into another in-between.

This one is like Yusei's: dark, incomplete. Thorns wrap around his legs and bleed pain without drawing actual blood. Eyes, so many eyes, bore silent screams into his skull.

Standing in the middle of it all is Yubel. Veins bulge in their manic face. Wings arch threateningly from their back. One half of their chest has a breast while the other half is flat, both different colors of purple and black. Their feet are also taloned paws. Everything about them is a dragon coiled to strike.

Judai looks at them and is still not afraid. Judai looks at them and  _knows_ them. Not in any memory, but from something deep in him, as if his very cells recognize them like a missing limb.

Or a missing puzzle piece.

 _"You love him,"_ Yubel snarls,  _"but you were_ mine  _first!"_

Judai doesn't know when he started crying. "Yubel."

 _"You heard_ my  _call, not his!"_

"Yubel."

_"You were sent right to me, not to that pompous little boy's little jewels! I―"_

Judai smacks their hand out of the way and embraces them.

* * *

" _What_?"

Stardust blinks slowly. Atem can practically see the cosmos behind xir gaze.

_"Before the war that built barriers, when Akakiryu was young, there was the first King. Many tales of his reign are in my stars."_

"Yes," Atem replies hesitantly, "He was killed in the First War."

_"No."_

Atem starts.

Stardust sighs. Yusei's breathing is already clearer.  _"The land was new. The King sewed it well. But the strongest thrones can fall. I saw it. A traitor among the multitude, one of the hardened darkness that the King did not wield. His name was Brron. He paid for his misdeeds too late."_

The dragon turns back to him.  _"To save his kingdom, the King surrendered himself to the humans. But he refused to abandon his people. So he ripped his Guardian, soul of his soul, from his flesh. All of his power, the force that shaped Seelie and Unseelie alike, was left behind."_

Atem's thoughts reel around the boy who followed Johan. The boy who covered his eyes against the light.

"But... _how_? How did he survive in a land without magic? Yusei barely held on!"

Stardust hums in concerned sympathy at the reminder, rubbing Yusei's chest again.  _"He looked at the same constellations as his weakened body died. He vowed to return. I know not what became of his spirit. He did not ascend as so many have."_

Before Atem can ask more, xe closes xir eyes and says,  _"His pain has lessened. He needs rest."_

Yusei slackens into sleep.

* * *

His tears are quickly turning into ugly sobs. This void, this Yubel, is wringing every bit of loneliness out of him like a broken pipe and he can't stop it. Part of him doesn't  _want_ to stop it, wants to lay bare every suffering. Yubel can take it. Yubel can  _always_ take it.

The tighter he holds them, the quieter the eyes become.

_"...Judai?"_

"I tried to come back," his mouth chokes. His words begin to weave  _something_. He lets them. "I-I tried, Yubel, I tried! I didn't want to―I couldn't―"

 _"You_ left  _me."_

"You were the key!" Judai pushes back to look at them beseechingly. "You always were, Yubel!"

A tapestry grows in his head. Confusing and intricate, but Judai can read every stitch.

Slowly, he steps back. Yubel lets him.

"I..." he looks around in astonishment, "I'm. Supposed to be here...?" He stares at his flexing fingers. "I'm―I'm not―I wasn't―I was born human, but I'm  _not_. Is that right?"

He's losing it. Is he losing it? He's gotta be losing it.

The in-between's eyes close one by one until the garden fades into existence.

In a clear, stern voice, Yubel says, "You remember."

"I didn't even know I  _forgot_." Judai swallows. "Is this. Is this real?"

"You remember, and you still harbor love for―"

"That doesn't make you any less part of me!" Judai cries. Quieter, awed, he says, "You're...you're  _part_ _of me_. Aren't you?"

All of Yubel's eyes are wide.

Judai clutches his chest with both hands. "That's why. That's why I feel so  _bad_ all the time. I-I can be happy, but―but it's never  _real_. My human parents, they don't even  _care_. I try to tell myself they do, but they don't even notice I'm gone." His tears are coming back. "I-I created a bloodline. Flitted in and out until I could settle. So you could-could feel me. Is my dad my descendant? _S_ _hit_ ," he claws at his hair, "I don't know what the hell's going on!"

Yubel's fists clench and unclench. "You still―love me."

"I...I do. I do?"

Judai looks at them,  _really_ looks.

"I do," he whispers. "I miss you like I've never missed anybody."

His affection for Johan is a warm constant, beautiful and encompassing. Judai can see himself sharing his heart with Johan, being full of his love as long as they live.

Yubel is written in his bones. Yubel  _is_ him.

"Come back," he croaks, "Yubel,  _please_. I-I need you to come back."

" _You_ left," Yubel snaps even as they approach, "You didn't  _think_."

"I'm sorry―I wanted to protect everyone―"

"We would've found another way!"

They lock hands.

"I still can't remember everything," Judai says breathlessly, "But I―I don't think there was."

Runes of gentle dark spread up their arms like fire and oil. Judai can and can't read them. His brain's going to break from the dual memories.

Yubel protects him and calls him an idiot.

When Judai opens his eyes, Johan is unconscious before him, and the garden is changed. The appearance is the same, but its roots are inherently different. There's no disease, no tearing loneliness.

Judai recognizes it now. The garden where he first opened his eyes. Yubel's vines were in his skin. He'd felt them before anything else.

He collapses onto Johan and cries.

* * *

Yusei wakes on a slow breath. Atem kisses his palm and savors his smile.

"Atem."

"Yusei. Don't try to move too much."

"Stardust...Stardust says it's alright now."

As soon as the words are spoken, the realm  _shifts_. A power, heavy and humbling, seeps curious, invisible tendrils through the air. Its only equals are Atem and Yusei. Yet there's no malice. If anything it's―gentle.

Atem brushes Yusei's hair from his face. "Judai, the boy who brought you to the gates. Stardust claimed he's more than he seems."

Yusei hums. "Shadows were...around him. They're...loyal."

He shivers. Atem shushes him.

"Go," Yusei murmurs, "Talk to him. Stardust―says to talk."

"I will. Stop pushing yourself. You haven't changed at all."

Another smile. Another King may have returned, but Atem is at peace.

* * *

"Judai!"

Judai snaps awake. Yubel stretches leisurely in his consciousness, greed and jealousy eased. He nearly starts crying again.

Johan looks around. "Judai, are you alright? The garden―something's changed. We should go!"

"It's okay."

"What do you mean it's―" Johan gapes. "Judai―your eyes."

Yeah. He's probably got Yubel's eyes right now. Probably will for a while.

Johan sits back on his heels. "It's you. It's  _your_ magic."

Judai's awareness touches burrows and trees as much as Johan's shoulder. "Yep. Uh, turns out I'm kinda...I mean, I guess you could say changeling? But I was sort of a―King."

"A  _King_? But the only other King before―"

Johan stops.

Judai smiles sheepishly. "Surprise?"

"Judai..."

"Well, I'm not a King anymore. And I kinda don't want to be. So we could still hang out?"

Bewildered silence.

Then Johan starts laughing.

* * *

With great power comes great confidence. As they emerge from the garden, Judai asks Johan if they can go back to Johan's tree so he can tell him a long story. Preferably while holding hands.

Atem's relieved to hear Judai's eagerly forfeiting any claim to the throne. But he'd like to help if he can, maybe in a position where he can travel, see how everything's changed. He's been cooped up in one city his whole human life, and he rarely left the palace in his heyday.

Shit, he sounds like an old man.  _Back in his day_...

Johan laughs when he says this. "I look forward to catching you on it."

He's still a little stiff with shock over Judai's identity, but Judai's still so― _Judai_. 

Judai just hopes he'll react the same to Yubel. But after telling his story, he thinks Johan will at least understand Yubel's state of mind.

Johan  _does_ understand, though grudgingly. He says he needs time.

"But I think..." he smiles. "I think you're worth it, Judai. And if you're telling the truth about Yubel being part of you, then―honestly, it'll be hard not to like them."

They  _are_ holding hands, like Judai'd hoped, rainbow light to whispering dark. 

"And if you're leaving," Johan adds, "I'd like to join you. I've always wanted to help people beyond our kingdom's borders. I can speak to spirits not even fae can see."

"I'm pretty sure I can too," Judai replies. They smile at each other. "I'd love for you to come."

Johan leans against him. "You and me, then."

"You and me."

_And me._

"And Yubel."

After a pause, Johan nods. "And Yubel."

He kisses Judai's cheek. "And Yubel."

* * *

  _And they all lived happily ever after._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intentionally stopped using italics for Yubel's speech, just in case you didn't pick up on it
> 
> Anyway, a huge, HUGE thank you to everyone who stuck around for this story despite my sporadic updates. I'm incredibly grateful for you guys!!! Hope it was worth the wait!  
> And to new readers, I hope you enjoyed as well!


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